9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
she just took a shower. i'll probs go down on her to encourage shower taking. it's like pavlov, you know?
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Tequila is the liquid version of celery. I lose more calories during tequila drunk and the following sexual activities than I gain by drinking it...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm a big fan of your penis but I will not sit through an animated movie dedicated to it.
soo...what's the appropriate way to ask to come over and take your S&M lingerie out of your ex's apartment? big weekend planned, kinda need it.
You know it's a good weekend when you wake up on Sunday questioning your sexuality.
I found a playlist on my ipod with only one song on it: gold digger. confused, but not surprised.
She definitely peed in a bucket in their closet last night. We should warn them about that, right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I gave the bike taxi guy a blowjob because I didn't have any cash. College.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Would you by any chance know if there is a proper protocol for traveling with one's vibrator? I wouldn't want the TSA to rip open my suitcase in front of my boss.
I just found out how I got home last night. The bartenders found me sitting in the brush peeing and called me a cab. Have you seen my underwear?
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
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