and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
Like if Robert Downey Jr. and Kiefer Sutherland got together for a bender, that's how drunk I want us to be.
We removed her tutu and her cape, so there's no risk of her strangling herself.
he stopped midthrust to put on his sex playlist and the first song was 'can you feel the love tonight'
where do you find these guys?
we aren't going to have kids. there's a 50% chance that they would look like him. not worth the risk
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
I apologize for being mean. I love the blender and your vagina.
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
Alcohol won't break your heart. I mean, unless it's all gone maybe
My Easter dress smells like alcohol, men, and bad decisions
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
Depends how u look at it. Half-full, half-empty, or how should I shave my pubes
Thank god you don't know my other address I'm safe for now
Awww you know you would like it if I found u
Randomize
