She's JV to your varsity
Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
Sometimes to bang a cougar u gotta play wii With her kids
No now hes going to beat me to our goal of getting someone to have sex in the library. I hate periods.
I don't know what to judge you more for.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
When I realized it was a dog, and I still had a boner, it was awkward.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Allow me to explain. Triple D is a surprise. It's like if you're expecting to fight one person, then you get ambushed by more. Except it's a good ambush, because it's boobs, not death.
I'm trying to drink up the confidence to run in public.
I came so hard my ears popped.
Randomize
