So..he puked on my dress and I had to walk back to the dorms in his little sisters Scooby Doo pajamas.
I don't know you.
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
I just had to ask my dad for money to pay for my birth control. I've hit financial rock bottom.
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
you tried to fill your inhaler with vodka
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
His name is Angel. I'm pretty sure he was sent from heaven solely to eat me out.
I wrote a list of things I enjoy doing. So far it says "get high and go to museums."
Shes yelled my World of Warcraft name when we were having sex, I think marriage is next.
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
It doesn't matter if it's only been 3 days since you last changed your sheets. If your fuck buddy comments on how your bed smells like sex, it's time to change them again.
Randomize
