i met him on craigslist. and no i'm not a hooker.
Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
i wonder if she gts uncomfortable walkin bu when she knows we all know what her pussy tastes like
I thought it couldn't get worse until she said "Nipple hair"
Well, I woke up with a text message from my cab driver that said "I hope you're alive," so that's a good indicator of how I was acting last night.
I'm going to be blunt here. I don't actually care what you're doing tonight. I just need to know if I need to shave or not.
Swallowing. Like you said. Lions. Always.
Hahah fuuuck, bag pipers played around me while I threw up. Literally
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with someone crawling around my carpet for 3 hours trying to pick up spilled coke...
I never thought my Saturday night would end up with ME crawling around your carpet for 3 hours trying to save my investment.
Her parents are celebrating she found someone so well endowed.
Will there be champagne when they see the pay check?
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
Man I can't believe I took a huge dump in a public garden
My face is going numb. I think it's time I call it quits
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
Randomize
