you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
They had miseltoe over the keg.... thats cheating
I looked at the bar tab this morning. The bartender added a $25 'customer asshole fee'. I have no grounds to dispute it.
It's like being the dunk pilot of a plane full of pornstars and drunkenness.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
We got kicked out of the ice rink last night for drinking and checking strangers... but they let us keep the beer
I'm approaching homosexuality at an increasingly alarming rate with each break up.
You were dancing with his friend and you stopped to literally push the girl he was dancing with out of the way to make out with him
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
It really hurts to walk. Any idea what happened to my hip?
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
Randomize
