so stoned i ashed in my jack and coke like 4 times. drinking it anyway
the teacher just ate a hash brownie and passed out on the bus best field trip 2010'
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
I wore sweatpants. When I show up to a booty call in sweatpants there's your warning
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
pretty sure I just came the closest to throwing up in my pants that I'm ever gonna get. I'd like to thank the academy and the hangover thatt I hope actually kills me in the morning.
Douche bag was crowd surfing, sack punched him. Crowd carried him away in a ball of agony. LIFE=COMPLETE.
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
Dinner was cheetos vodka and whiskey. This is what happens when even your booty call breaks up with you.
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
Your poor dick will look at you and scowl for all the abuse he's going to take this week.
I'll give you a blowjob in a Santa hat if it will put you in the Christmas spirit
I dont understand why so many people are content staying in and avoiding alcohol and sex
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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