Do you think you have hit the lowest point in your life when you find yourself actually condisering watching the movie "Gigli"?
i was so high i thought his mole came off and was flying around
He had the Transformers symbol tattooed to his chest. We had to do it doggy style so I could laugh into my pillow instead of his face.
i cant cry in cvs. not again.
Only time i ever look at my online banking statement is to see when i left the bar.
Oh, I never thought you were a dick. You were one of the best morally comprised ideas I've ever had.
No. I'm drinking straight up vodka right now. With a pineapple in it.
That'll put some boobs in that bra.
We got naked and peed in the garden. Something about bonding with our new house
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
STONER SAFETY TIP: don't use the driver's side vanity mirror to check how red your eyes are while you're driving. it won't work. trust me.
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Holy sore nipples Batman
Woke up in a hotel room with some random guy then walked over a mile to the bus stop where I laid down and waited on the bus. GREAT NIGHT
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
I just made the most “single life” Amazon order ever: protein bars and condoms.
Randomize
