Took an aderol, wrote a differential equation for solving volume of flow of a rectangular channel with change in depth, then masturbated for the 6th time.
Peach margaritas. And fuck whatever you're about to say, the girl to guy ratio is like 6:1. I need those odds
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
I'll be spending 4/20 on a cruise ship, so i need a babysitter to make sure I don't reenact Titanic
Well at least he is okay. If you call the fetal position in my living room floor "okay"...
He's a Shit stain on my heart
I am so juiced up on period drugs and coffee I feel like my skin is going to fall off.
Do you remember doing synchronized hip thrusts to Michael Jackson? Probably one of my favorite parts of the night
oh my god. picked the worst day ever to not wear underwear...
I'm just gonna stop you right there because there is, in fact, no such thing.
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
You've lost booty call privileges between the hours of 10pm and 8am.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
I need a hoe opinion
go on
The fact that I made out with a twenty one year old father is kind of worrying me now. Like. This is exactly what I wasn't supposed to do in life.
I told my mom that I was just gonna go check the mail. It's been 19 hours, and I woke up in a hot tub covered in chocolate, with a text from her sayin "have fun sweetie"
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