So thats when I found out ur supposed to put the penut butter on your balls not your dogs balls, feels alot better
You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
I need a secretary to manage my drinking schedule.
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
And as far as being fat goes I just did like 20 minutes of p90x and now i'm eating frosting out of the container....
I guess, just don't make it awkward
MY FUCK BUDDY'S MOTHER FRIEND REQUESTED ME! IT'S ALREADY AWKWARD COREY
He asked us to wake him up with a strobe light. We had it going in front of his face full power for half and hour and he didn't even blink.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
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