I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
Just think, the more you drink, the more options you'll have of people you want to hook up with.
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
Working out to an exercise video on OnDemand. Also, drinking beer and eating cream cheese with a side of bagel in between stretches.
Dude she flew me 1000 miles down to see her, broke up with me 7 hrs after arrival, and kicked me out with a week left til I fly home. Thank god college taught me how to shack up
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
His dick looks just like him, taller than average, thick, and somehow always angry.
Just skate-of-shamed, shirtless, with a bucket or margaritas. Good luck beating that one.
Made up a full house drinking game
On my way.
He's drunk and I'm pain-killer high and we're about to watch fireworks at disney world. It's gonna be fucking magical
I may watch porn and eat a baked potato covered in chili in bed
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
Do you know how difficult it is to snap a good dick pic while driving?
Put the lady boner away. He's engaged. To my brother. No, life is not fair.
Randomize
