I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
I am not saying a eulogy for your vibrator.
its like fishing. just send her some cock shots to keep her on the hook then use tequila to reel her in
She handed me her tooth and asked me to hold it so she could swim.
I'm not sure if it was the 11 shots or your naturally vibrant personality but I recall you being quite noisy that evening
My sharpie cut off line was invaded last night. Where's my turtleneck?
Apparently getting dressed is an all-day activity.
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
It's Been a while since I puked in vomit bush. I hope it doesn't feel neglected
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
He just didn't want his drunk dick pulled out of his windbreaker at the family party
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
He got mad at you last time bc you tried to rap battle him via text. This is strictly business.
Randomize
