His internet searches, listed chronologically: sex slave, volunteer sex slave, lava
I just spent the past twenty minutes checking out a girl who turned out to be a mannequin. I need AA.
The online application for Mcdonald's said I could do incredible things there. Today I threw out shit filled underwear in the women's restroom and escorted a very drunk/high 42 year old man outside after he ordered a 5 dollar foot long and a bloody mary.
I taped Calvin and Kyles heads together face to face while they were passed out. You should have seen them stumbling around using hungover teamwork trying to find scissors.
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
todays sighting is titled: Bum taking pictures with an invisible camera.
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
you look like you're about to get down on your knees and give america the business.
My aunt left me alone with the instructions to "get waisted" by the time she returns. I love drunk aunt.
I know it's 10:30am but Finding Dory starts in an hour, and I have four points of molly. You down?
“before I show up tits a blazing, what’s the sexual temperature here?“
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
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