haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
So there is this guy preaching the word of God outside our club. I went up to him and said, "God made this body, and he made it for premarital sex." Sup, Hell?
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
when a dude sends me an unwanted dick pic I just send him a picture of a nicer one. A more photogenic one. A dick with a future.
I may have interrupted sex but im bringing them both to McDonalds. Am I not the greatest older sister ever?
Drunk version of me is like a sleeping demon inside of me that awakes to the sound of vodka
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Started dabbing in blow again because he always hated that I did it. Yuh I’m doing drugs but at least I’m doing me?
Theres a free llama on craigslist. Are you in or are you in?
you need to drop off my dinner before you go see him because i'm not gonna wait until you're finished fucking him to get my damn chinese food
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