There's a dildo in the cheerios box here...
i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
There's an Captain Planet marathon because of Earth Day. I can't NOT turn this into a drinking game.
She woke up with blood running down her face and asked the EMS guy where the keg was
I just celebrated my ex boyfriends birthday by having more sex than he will today.
Happiness is the polar opposite of catching your dad watching holiday themed porn
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
Well it ended with everyone taking a bite out of a raw potato and a girl crying because her boyfriend wouldn't bring her any grape juice. So yeah...I'd say the night was a success.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
I think my ball sweat smells like waffle house. might be time to change up drunken eating habits
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
sometime during the night he found me in the empty hotttub singing marvins room in only my bra.
Dude, the worst part is I can't even pretend it didn't happen because she posted a video of it on Facebook.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
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