She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
well we are all hammered and my parents are reminiscing about all the times they drove us home drunk from Christmas
we need to drink 2009 down the drain
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
Dude, just look at these fucking curtains and chill out.
Nothing like cleaning dried puke off your floor to make you feel like you've failed as an adult.
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
They wouldn't let me on the bull because I couldn't even sign my own name... She let me try 3 times...
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
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