We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I just sent you a google doc listing all the reasons why I should stop hooking up with him. Feel free to add to it.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
From time to time I think I'm happy for a second and then I remember how a guy stopped me from giving him head on my birthday weekend.
I think I'm the only sober person in the whole bar. If you count drinking less than 10 tequilas sober.
We got a kitchen table so we would eat together more. So far we've played drunken monopoly and had sex on it.
I'm not going to say what I did. You're smart enough to figure it out. But I did it. And you owe me 20$
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
this place is dumb. no one understands my Sunday morning alcoholism here.
that is either the most profound and meaningful thing i've ever heard, or someone got high before noon again.
You used his ass cheeks to demonstrate how to play the bongos and he still called you the next day. That's true love.
Randomize
