Call meee
Ok, but just to warn you, I'm as drunk as a Kennedy right now...
dude. i was so high. i watched shrek in russian.
9 am. shotgunning while conditioning my hair. i love college football season.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
It's going to be nice going to the airport without drugs taped to my balls like last year.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
you proceeded to scream out that it's your birthday to everyone who walked by before you collapsed in the middle of the street. happy 21st birthday to you.
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
my professor saw me buying beer for the super bowl and said go patriots. thats how i know im getting an A in his class.
No. More. Tequila. Even the hot dog guy felt bad for me and you know that guy has seen some crazy shit.
You Just stopped dancing, looked at me and said "I'm gonna make it rain" Then shook the open box of crunch berries everywhere.
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
Trying to put a fitted sheet on drunk is one of the boss levels of slutty adulthood.
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I woke up like how did I get here this blanket is nice but it was just the curtain
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