i just googled 'classy porn'. high, low, i dunno i just got bored of cum shots.
I hate when people uglier than me have girlfriends
I fucked a guy that's in Sports illustrated. I'm officially ready for college.
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
Everytime I get drunk I wake up hugging the bag of bagels from three months ago
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
We fucked on the roof... like that has to mean something
You know its a good night when ur woken up by the bartender asking you how he ended up at your house
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
Of course he’s dumb. He’s got a 9 inch dick! There’s not enough blood in his body for a big dick and a big brain. It’s science
Randomize
