Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
you know you made out with my sister while holding Ur girlfriends hand while she was puking in the toilet right
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
ughh I puked about 4 times on metro, no one seems to like the cool design I made on my shirt
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
Do you think Brian would let me smoke while we fuck? I'm not sure ill survive exams without a constant nicotine intake
Well I just had a 45 minute conversation with a lady who was drunk off her ass complaining about how her 3 sons won't talk to her anymore. No more dive bars.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
You hit a new plane of existence as we all watched in awe
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
When we missed a fist bump and simultaneously did the Rocket Power handshake I knew I was going to blow him.
Haha. I have resting bitch face. He has I want y'all to die face. It's a subtle difference
just had an acid flashback in my therapist's office. i am a walking stereotype
He grabbed a pine cone off the ground and yelled "I love cigars" then tried to smoke it for ten minutes.
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