bobby jindal makes me wanna cover my ears. you make me wanna smile.
I'm at the house listening to vengaboys alone. Please come home.
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
he was drinking wine. Puking into an empty water bottle. And eating french toast. ....All at the same time.
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
Did you get drunk last night? You put Christian lyrics as your fb status again.
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Hey. Hey you. Just wanted to let you know that I'm adorable. FUCKING ADORABLE. That is all. This update brought to you by our proud sponsor bud light.
I always hoped that one day I'd have a sex position named in my honor.
I will not be a drunk bitch. I will not be a drunk bitch. Chanting this until it's second nature.
Drinking in moderation can be fun. Drinking in moderation can be fun. Chanting this until it becomes true.
I woke up with a pinecone in my hair. A full pine cone.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
Zach, it's Lisa from work. Was that you yeiling BALLS DEEP at me on I-25 or is it just something about me that invites that from rando creeps?
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
my mom is drunk and is trying to get me to take a picture of her ass. what is life?
Randomize
