So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
I swear to God, I just heard my guardian angel tell us to stop. I think we should listen.
No, no, no. Fuck you. I took a glass blowing class solely to learn how to make that bong. You shattered it and my dreams in a matter of five seconds.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
this is why ugly people need low self esteem. it stops them from doing shit like this.
I fell asleep on the air hockey table and someone turned it on, scariest shit ever when you're that fucked up
WHAT KIND OF SELF RESPECTING 28 YEAR OLD WOMAN WAKES UP IN A FRAT HOUSE?!?'
The cougar kind?
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
my talents include tricking people into giving me money and free drugs
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
its been well over a year and hes still saying sex with me was epic
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