I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
remember about an hour ago when i told you i was never drinking again? i may or may not be mixing malibu with caprisun. just saying.
Any day that starts with a call from my ex-bf... crying... is a good day.
Sometimes I kiss girls just to make them shut up.
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Whoever said drinking more helps a hangover didn't drink 96% of a fifth of whiskey last night. This is absurd.
He came up to me muttering about the pills on the bathroom floor... I found him an hour and a half later trying to take naked photos of himself with an alarm clock...
I was desperate so I downed my birth control with balsamic vinaigrette...
IDK but this explains my bloody dashboard.
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
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He gave me a trycicle he stole from a kid as an "offering" to have sex. I couldnt say no when he went through all that.
I let him fuck me in a batman costume. Don't talk to me about needing to read fifty shades gray.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
So I can confidently say that I'm the only 3rd year engineering student who completed all 4 of their exams with One Direction pens
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Ask him to BK for an ice cream cone and do him in the car. That counts as a date