yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
I convinced her san diego was a state. all the proof I needed was saying, why do they call it san diego state university?
She kept saying "I'm going to hell" the entire time we were fucking. I really wasn't sure what to do... so I agreed with her.
That was definitely the right answer.
Are we responsible for the snowmen doing it doggy-style in my front yard?
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Fuck going to see The Hunger Games tonight. The only thing I'm hungry for is some dick. Let's go to the bar.
hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking if you had a pulse
That's actually a fantastic idea... The kinky sex dungeon will be vastly improved by the addition of a lightsaber
She was bending and I said "finally, about time". Wrong, she was tying her shoe. No blowjobs for me.
There's cereal in my underwear. Was I in your apartment at any time last night? That's the only logical explanation for this.
of course we called 911. an innocent mans booze was at steak
Woke up with a squirrel in my bed, how was your night?
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
My Sexting was not on an AP level