Apparently he's never heard a queef, he totally thought I farted and got freaked out.
Your noise violation report contains the word "five-some"...wtf happened in here?
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
Yo I'm texting you while getting a bj. I know, I'm the man. Told her I was texting my mom in the hospital.
New York to be Host to America’s Biggest Singles Event
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
Why's my alcoholism being used to prove a point?
Dude i was hungover i didnt know she was in the shower, she screamed i screamed we all screamed and i just so happend to piss in the shower.
She was drinking straight whiskey out of her peacock shaped vase again.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
Kylie Jenner Wasn’t in the Kardashian X-Mas Cards & the Internet is Losing it
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
You were so calm and collected as you strolled out the door with 40 mcdonalds cups in your arms. It was legendary.
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
It was all good until his cat started licking my nipple along with him