Your lack of dick hurts my anus. I hate your loverboy tactics.
just do him I won't tell jon
um i'm guessing you meant to send this to tina, thanks for the support in our relationship you whore
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
please quote me on this- the only thing worse than being ugly is being ugly and thinking that you're pretty
This Girl Got Ghosted By Her BF Of 5 Years While On A Trip They Took For Her Birthday
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
I think I've given more of my business cards to Chipotle trying to win free burritos than anyone else
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
Caught my drug dealer jacking off. I think this is a new step in our relationship
People Are Applauding Chrissy Teigen For Getting Candid About Breast-Pumping
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
get over here soon, theyre throwing bbeers at us from the roof. keyword : throwing
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
Believe it or not I'm actually not the only person sitting in the back of the train covered in glitter and drinking whiskey out of an arizona iced tea can. Small world.
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
I feel like I was playing penis roulette last night nd I landed on the wrong one.
Randomize
