so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
I just made easy mac in my blender. Beat that.
she peed on how many people?
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
no we have a special triathlon I'm entering us in. drinking, fucking, and sleeping. I think we have a good shot.
Yeah, it was all very half-hearted. In the middle of sex we both just stopped and looked at each other and said, "can we just sleep instead?"
That is so sad.
Okay so it turns out that my bf keeps a log of every time I sleep-fart. It's dated back to 2013.
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
Considering all of my stomach contents ended up in my center console, I'm a bit peckish.
Yep. The ghost of my sex life is in your house.
i feel like i shouldn't just had to send a text that said "no i will not eat your ass"
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
Randomize
