I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
So hungover im counting my own breaths to make sure im not dead. The odds hurt.
Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
had a dream that i inhaled my pet bird and started choking. Then I tried smoking from a bong and suddenly I smoked myself inside out. this is what happens when I don't smoke weed. my brain can't function!
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
do me a favor, I need this weekend off so can you work your magic and blow my boss again?
I'm "drunk text both siblings" drunk.
I’m honestly just flattered that you think I could make PornHub’s Top 10.
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
Greetings from Florida; the armpit of the US, where my 240something lb brother nearly got carried away by some aggressive woodland mosquitoes. I was only spared because they could probably sense I was currently semi-disassociating and would not feel the suffering their presence wrought.
Anyway, how was your day?
Randomize
