Your sister thinks she pees out of her clit. Did you have Sex Ed or Sunday School growing up?
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Its a sad day when your bush has a better set of hair than you do
We're the only two others left at work. My internal monologue is going: TAKE ME. TAKE ME NOWW. ON THE COUNTER. IN FRONT OF THE MANAGER. JUST TAKE MEEE
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
I know. I know. The man who pulled me from my mother's womb was the same man who had his fingers in my vagina today. My life is a joke. I don't know how to feel about this.
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
And to top it off I think that was the first time in history that anyone has used "oh just taking care of her grandmother and doing porn" in the same sentence.
Happy you have kids and I don't day!
Its not that it wasnt fun. Its just I got a tooth knocked out and that was my second time being arrested this year
I was 100% done.. I used my vibrator while eating cold pizza. Shit was magical.
I declared today 'Have a Bloody Mary Naked Day'. Why? Because I'm hungover, thirsty & don't want to bother putting on clothes.
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize