Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Free beer happened. I got hammered and aaron did his first keg stand. Then went all martha stewart on redecorating the bathroom. I remember being at walmart
What theme did he decide on for the bathroom?
Well as you know martha loves the northeast this time of year. I believe the theme was 'coney island' decorrated with hot dogs and macaroni
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
Call me old-fashioned, but I don't think the words, "Finger my ass" should find their way into casual conversation.
Using your ex girlfriend's little brother to pick up women at the a&p: priceless
We left the knife in your bed.
Don't send the creepy guy a picture of your penis. That's my Christmas wish
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
I have to date her we need a place to stay for tailgating
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
Celebrated the veterans I suppose, my mouth tastes of gin and black outs
She walks around topless and loves making sandwiches. That's how a one-night stand turned intoa relationship
Your liver needs more exercise - we start training tonight.
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