Scream out, "Tax-Free dick over here" in the bar. Ladies love tax free stuff
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
Pretty sure I saw a dude across the room give this girl the international hand gesture for "I'm going to fist you later", she seemed ok with it.
She threw up on me during morning sex and now Im pretty sure I just saw a woman die at 7-eleven. This is way too much for a Monday morning
i just thought that perhaps i was done with the "boning on someone else's futon" stage of my life. guess not.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I was looking at your puke while I was peeing in it the next morning and that ceasar salad did not treat you well
Thank you, I really appreciate that. I know I couldn't participate in class tonight and I hope that doesn't affect my grade too much. So please let me know of any extra credit opportunities such as fellatio
you took a picture of the hospital bathroom and sent it to me
He told me that before I went to bed I needed to do my stretches and then processed to demonstrate a squat thrust, while completely naked.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Apparently we fucked, I kicked him out, then he came back and we did it on the coffee table and in the kitchen.
As much as I hate to admit it, some day ill need a man because I can't open jars myself and you can't 69 a dildo
Like I don't even know how to respond to this?
Randomize
