when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
What do you call a girl with PMS and GPS?
A crazy bitch that WILL find your ass!
Sometimes, when I pour the powdered creamer in my coffee I like to pretend it's Colombian grade cocaine.
That's the kind of morning coffee a girl could welcome the day with.
He wanted a quickie. I said, can I play doodle jump on my iPhone during? And that's exactly how it went.
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
Why is the word 'best' written on my chest?!!
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
So drunk. Washed my hair un pancheros sink cus I was so hot.
I judge a person on how well they respect their vaginas... I can tell by the lack of respect she has for hers I dislike her.
On a toatally unrelated note, I see music in my hair
My night was too much. My morning is even more. Help. I need to teleport the fuck out of here.
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
All I know is that I got to have an orgasm yesterday during sex so nobody can put a damper on my day, NOBODYYYYYY
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