If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
My boyfriend texted me as I was texting some random hookup from last night. His text: "Morning baby" My response: "Your cum is in my hair"
so my doctor just swabbed my throat, and he looked up in suprise when i had no gag reflex. yea, he just judged me.
its not that he announces that he can deep throat a banana its the fact he knows he can and it makes me wonder how he found out
btw, do you remember scaling that porch last night?
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
Do u like your dick pics shot in hotdog or hamburger orientation?
Saw a girl lying on her back next to a fire hydrant. Not sure if passed out drunk or sleeping under the stars
wait nvm its a dude
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Randomize
