Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
They have edible shot glasses at target.
There really is a God.
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
Party at my house. Liquor pinata. Your presence is required.
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
it wasn't sex so much as.....a disastrously uncomfortable sexual experience
I think cutting a patient out of a owl costume is a first for those guys. It's a good story at least.
i don't remember much about your party last weekend but i remember you being so drunk you were crying in your driveway about pickles at four am
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Sunburned by dick at the nude beach. Bad. She tried to blow me. But. I. Just. Can't. Saddest day of my life.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
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