Our teacher totally just got outed in class by a speaker from some lesbian cooperative house
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I'm using my ex boyfriends dog to find a guy at the park I could see fuck buddy potential in. I'm the queen of irony.
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I am now trying to reassure her that she doesn't have a wide-set vagina. So thanks, for whatever you said.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
My bank account got hacked so he showed up with a 6 pack wearing a superman cape to cheer me up and you question why I love him?
I'm gonna cum garlic butter
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
my penis made a compromise with my morals
I gave Sophia a glitter bomb for Christmas. And before you ask is because she pooped in my cat litter box and then drank all my liquor and didn't pay me back and refuses to acknowledge that she had any wrongdoing. So she gets to clean up glitter for the next 10 years.
Randomize