I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
The story about him having a girlfriend changed real fast when he found out that I was a gymnast
He had a ladies night special at his place. Unlimited jello shots till 10, 50 cents after.
New development. Drinking at work is so easy and awesome I might have to do it everyday.
look at his last status update. 3:41 a.m. "i love u and miss u already egg burrito. happy trails friend." OF COURSE HE SMOKES POT.
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
I woke up in her bed, she woke up in mine. Apparently there was a miscommunication after the 8th jager bomb.
Thats alot of pressure.
Just on your vagina. BTW I'm passing your house.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
I couldn't fall back asleep it was too bright so I just took my sports bra off and put it over my eyes
Wanna know what sucks. Banging the bosses daughter at work and having the boss walk in while you are fucking on his desk. Good day though. Made 6 sales
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I pack a first-aid kit when I DD for you. What does that tell you about your partying? For what I see and do, paying my food and gas for the night is a goddamn BARGAIN.
He showed up at 1:10AM covered in mud and vomit, wearing a headband that said victory in Japanese. I WANT PICS.
When we were fucking he called me by his moms name then after we were done told me to call him. He's not receiving a call... What if his mom picks up?
Randomize
