handjob tips. give me some.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Apparently I took one a huge picture off the wall at the bar and was walking around dancing with it..
So burnt out. Like weed hangover. And someone just fell through the ceiling outside of my class. How's your morning going?
Oh and apparently Friday night I came home and tried assembling the Christmas tree until my mom just told me to go to bed. Blackout.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
I didn't realize how trashy of a night we had.
Welllll, you did eat a cherry out of my pussy. So I think that classes it up a little.
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
i opened the door and you were passed out on my doorstep wearing ugly shorts and cuddling a pinnapple, i dont know what happened to you.
This is the worst drive ever. Im hungry, hungover, i gotta shit so bad, and the only radio station im getting clearly is playing alvin and the chipmunks christmas songs
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
.......do you have the salami in bed? I'm trying to make a sandwich.
Randomize
