i guess i called my mom last night. she wasnt nearly as impressed with what we did in the bathroom as i was
Where are you and why am I suddenly responsible for your taquitos?
I just beer bonged. Soco and spite please get on my levvl my hair is in buns
Had "I should be in prison or dead" storytime at the bar. Found out James has done blow off a dead guy. Overwhelmed and speechless.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
Just rinsed and put my styrofoam cup of noodles in the dishwasher. I need to be not hungover ASAP
It's like a booty call, except its for tacos...and you're my brother.
He tried to puke in the 14th hole and when I told him to stop he started chanting "hole in one hole in one"
We need a shit load of segways right now
Change the sheets & put your dick in the dishwasher. I'll see you in an hour.
Trouble in the neighborhood - turns out my brother's summer lawn care gig also entailed banging three different MILFs and they just all found out about each other
Gotta pay for college somehow...
We're sitting on the kitchen floor drinking and talking about mounting real light sabers to the dog's head.
She's the other freshman on this drunken voyage
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
Randomize
