I cant talk right now they are about to fuck again
people from other dorms came to marvel at the dump i took. i had a bio major take a picture.
THEY HAVE A VOMIT TROUGH.
What?
A TROUGH FOR VOMIT.
I thought it was kinda weird that her ten yearold sister was playing bartender, but hey, the girl makes a damn good drink
Watching that soccer game was like getting kicked in the crotch for an hour and half and then coming right at the end.
I don't know how I'm boarding the plane tomorrow. I have my car registration.
I felt kinda bad after screaming 'ITS MY BIRTHDAY TOO' while he was having a seizure in the front of the party bus.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
I admit it could have gone better but look at it this way, since I broke the urn you don't have to worry about spreading the ashes.
I didn't want him to hear me sneaking in. The doggie door was the perfect solution.
I refuse to believe you if you're trying to tell me humanity as a whole isn't sad, tired, and craving Chinese food.
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
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