I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
Next weekend I am getting a library card and staying my whore ass home.
It's confirmed. We did xmas carol the grocery store across the street from his building at 2:30am... Only the staff was there.
A three fingered guy just showed up with fireworks and bourbon, tonight will be entertaining.
the thought 'we cant do it, we're in a public place' crossed my mind, and then I realized he's succeeding if he's trying to domesticate me.
elevator sex. pronto.
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
Porn. Physics. Porn. Icecream. Porn. That's my life now.
Some chick asked if she could eat me because I'm dressed as a taco. I introduced her to RJ. Best Wingman.
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
I walked into her room to find her sitting on the end of her bed with her heads in her hands talking to herself. She kept muttering things like "What? How? No. What? I don't --- How?" $10 says she's pregnant.
I'll see to your $10 and raise you $40.
This is the third time this month a guy I’m not dating has dumped me. How is this even possible???
was that you i just saw walking down the street in only one heel smoking a cig yelling "hello sexuals" to everyone who passed??
HELLLLLO SEXUAL BEING
This is the weekend we were supposed to be in Vegas making bad decisions hoping no one got VD, not stuck at home for the 900th day in a row
She should be a lawyer. She convinced her husband to give her a hall pass AFTER he walked in on her in bed with her ex-bf
Randomize
