DUDE. I'm missing my big toenail. My bed has blood all over it. WHAT DID WE DO LAST NIGHT?
I don't know, but I chipped my tooth and I'm wearing different underwear.
i need a lesbian romance or unplanned pregnancy for some spicein my life.
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I still can't believe you had sex with someone who willingly went by Peaches.
Im rolling a blunt of encouragement for you to return to
White people are beatboxing! Save me.
Karaoke machines out. We're taking turns farting into the microphone. Shits going south fast. Definitely be awake when you get home.
You can't mix blow jobs, bacon, and Star Wars.
A) just did. And b-z) that sounds like a great Sunday morning.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He put chocks of wood in front of his doors to stop me from leaving. I'm not nearly drunk enough for that to be appropriate behaviour.
FIND ME A DICK TO RIDE THAT HOPEFULLY IS ATTACHED TO A CUTE PERSON AND NICE PERSONALITY
CHALLENGE ACCEPTED. Is it okay if I only get 2 out of 3?
The D is nonnegotable.
I told her I had a small penis. Then replied if Peter Pan won with a dagger then so can I
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
Everybody posting sickening holiday couple pics and I'm over here deepthroating a bottle of whiskey.
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
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