Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
I think you came in my ear last night and I had to pick it out infront of my kids in class today
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
Remind me to call McDonald's to give a good review of Ruth. She truly demonstrated grace under pressure.
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
I don't care who you bring as long as they are fun and not a cop
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
dont go in the freezer to fetch your weed. my vibrator may or may not be in there. not sayin, just sayin
I took advantage of the fact that my mentee had to go to the bathroom to throw up in the other stall. I'm going to hell for being hungover at an elementary school.
He expects a blow job at the movies but won’t pay for popcorn? Does he know it’s not 2017 anymore
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