Can't talk. I'm at the Tulsa Sheriff's office with a bunch of rednecks. I bet I'm the only one that voted for Obama.
I bet you're the only one who could read the ballott.
and then you made a playlist that was just "party in the usa" on repeat...
i can't believe he got me to come over to him by waving a natty light at me.
last time i saw her she was begging the broken jukebox to play lady gaga.
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
So it turns out my dad calls his penis "John" which means he either named me after his penis or his penis after me
Only thing I got out of his drunken Spanish is something that sounded like "pencil sharpener." Damn rosetta stone.
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I'm in the sex attic, crying, eating french toast and taco
Saved a life and got us a free vacuum cleaner (and learned vacuum is not spelled "vacumn"). Get on my level.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
that is very illegal...i love you.
And the you walked in and said to the only under age dude "IM NOT SLEEPING WITH YOU TONIGHT!!!" You may not have high standards but thanks for not sleeping with my brother!
Randomize
