This guy told us that for a dollar and two cigarettes he'd let Megan stomp on his crotch. We were gonna refuse, but we figured someone had to keep him from passing his stupid genes along.
At Wal-Mart last night I watched two guys scramble for $4.34 to pay for a pack of ping pong balls and red solo cups. They had to put the .34 on a credit card. Winter break begins!
A 20 minute car ride back to your car with the girl u had drunk anal with is the most uncomfortable thing ever.
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
I've decided I'm either going to ease him into this breakup by having a threesome with him and the girl I'm leaving him for, or be brutal and fuck his room mate. it depends how nice he is tonight.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
i need some food
Holy shit I forgot about you stabbing him.
I'm just going to have crazy good sex with him until one of us developed feelings that works in the movies right?
Dude, my ex girlfriend showed up, bought me a tequila shot, made out with me and then disappeared into the night. Then her current girlfriend saw, so she came over and slapped me and then I made out with her too
This was before halftime
I RUINED A LESBIAN RELATIONSHIP BEFORE HALFTIME
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
Come over.
Look lady I can't have sex with you EVERY day. I have things to do.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
And my butt misses you like the deserts miss the rain.
Alcohol and video games. A solid Friday night. Even before covid
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
Randomize
