i freaking love being in a circle of guys. if i fart none of them suspect me.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
he's doing fine. just headbutted the wall and threw up
SHE WON'T ROUND UP MY GRADE! I have a 79.8% I ONLY MISSED TWO CLASSES!!! ONE WHEN I GOT DRUGGED AND ONE WHEN MY CAR GOT BROKEN INTO!! I'm interculturally competent. I used to date a Italian/Cherokee Indian. I fucked a Palestinian. How much more pro-peace can you get?
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
I moved out... There's nothing left but his childhood trophies...
You should make him a new one, you know like "you suck at relationships but thanks for trying participation award"
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
Let's play the game let's see how long Kayla can be sober
I'm ordering dildos in a santa hat. You?
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
It was probably bad to sleep with someone just to pet his dog right?
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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