great time with ya sorry i wasn't one of the three guys you wanted to stay with
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
I wanna fuck padma even more now that she's preggers. Is that sick?
Yes but- 100% agreed
Following a car with a GPS. We don't know where he's going, but he probably has a better idea of where we're going than we do. Also, very high.
The bouncer asked you what your sign was and u replied "syracuse"
Just found custom condoms. Guess I'm not getting any work done today.
I walked outside an you were laying down talking to a star about your life. That's when I took the bottle of jack away...
Can vaginas get frostbite?
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Literally the only clue I have to try and figure out my blackout adventures is a draft on twitter that just says "Mummies alive!"
5 hours of volunteer work playing with puppies and banned from the frat I hate most as 'punishment'... Besides the ER trip, I'm not seeing the bad in this situation
Just woke up with an entire pack of Oreos in my cheetah onesie. I've been waiting for this moment forever.
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She's so high she just screamed into the pile of takeout boxes "which one of you gave me diarrhea"
the bucket list is making me question my morals...and sexuality
Randomize
