areee we human. . .oorrr areee we dancerssssss?!
you srsly need to quit going to that bar
Black out sex on the trampoline? yes please.
you know something has gone wrong in your life when you've gotten a court order to stay away from ALL mc donalds.
she's my drunk super hero.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
You know, I never expected to find myself with a roommate who I'd have to ask not to have sex while I'm in the room. And yet, here we are.
Pretty sure i didnt get thrown out cause why dont i have more bloody areas
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
It's like god made him fantastic at oral to make up for what his mouth does the rest of the time.
We found Kyle. He was next door yelling at the elderly couple to let him continue his golf game. No more afternoon drinking for him.
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
i want to shrink myself down to penis size, climb inside of her pussy and just live there for a few months.
Me too...I'm driving to work trying to figure out if I put my pants on the right way.
he said "GREAT SCOTT" as he was cumming.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
New life goal: Sex in a parking lot surrounded by a circle of fire.
Randomize
