Me too ba-by. I wanna bite your ear lobes they are so fat.
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I'm so hungover And my mouth is so dry it feels like my tongue is wearing a sweater
I want Jason Statham to talk British to my vagina.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
a commercial for my antidepressant came on and they said you shouldn't take if if you drink right as i took a shot
god is laughing at you again
We fucked on top of all of our English papers in celebration of the semester ending.
and i'm pretty sure he drank the lava lamp
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah! I was just fired because there was an over hire and the new girl is hotter than me. Seeing as how the new girl is my baby sister I think punching my manager is excusable.
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
Good new is, my parents are alive. Better news they will be in the hospital all weekend. Best news is im having a house party. All weekend.
I have standards. Maybe not when it comes to men.. but definitely when it comes to sex
Your mom asked you why you had bite marks all over your arms and you answered her by yelling "I HAD A SIESTA!"
Randomize