puking up blue gatorade is not as nearly as much fun as it sounds
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
So... on the count of three, we are going to forget last night ever happened... 1...2...3
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
Yeah. You can ask him out. We're just fuck buddies. My vagina will be sad but your heart can be happy.
Would you even take no as an answer? I have a feeling you see it more as a challenge.
I couldn't figure out her damn button fly jeans... IM NOT A FUCKING ENGINEER
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
I was stuffing my vagina with gummy bears last night having him eat them out of me. Team Haribo for the win!
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
Randomize
