Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
made out with three guys on the first night of college orientation, just imagine what joys all of next year will hold
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
He just helps fat girls get exercise. One walk of shame at a time.
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
Do any of you want to be on a three way call with me while this girl masturbates in 10 min? You can't talk
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
I took a hang over nap infront of the door to my 9am class
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
Sheila knows I only go down on her on Bastille Day. Valentine's Day we get high and watch The Neverending Story. THE SYSTEM WORKS.
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Randomize
