he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
What kind of poor, pathetic town do we live in where a horny teenage girl is sitting in her basement on a saturday night, unlaid?
From inside my college history class i see him waving his arms while holding a beer bong trying to get my attention
he got instantly turned off in the middle of a blowjob when he heard the news "twilight beat the blockbuster record of batman"
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
So much beer in the passenger seat the seatbelt light is blinking
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
I wanted to be mature but the vodka was resilient.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
It's situations like these that make me climb out of windows
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Right in the middle of our simultaneous orgasms, he shouted "HAPPY NEW YEAR" ruining the intimacy
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
You and I both know it takes more than prescription narcotics to keep our family down. See you around ten, brother.
Randomize
