whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
thanks for paying me in special brownies...but brownies dont pay the rent...anymore.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have just figured that it takes exactly 2 and a half rums to clean the bathroom..
TO ALL WHO WERE IN MY HOUSE LAST NIGHT: WHOEVER STOLE MY BONG AND PUT IT ON THE ROOF WILL BE PAYING MY HOSPITAL BILL FROM LAST NIGHT.. AND BUYING ME A NEW, SWEETER BONG.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
Did you find any other hidden treasures in my room? Specifically weed? Or Slim Jims?
I just had nipple jewelry returned to me in the law library.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
that pic of me and the hulking football player sure does come in handy when creepy guys hit on me at the bar.
Taking a shit in a Texas 7/11... not accepting phone calls now lol
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
i've hit rock bottom. Eating pringles and playing taylor swift on guitar in my underwear at 11am on a wedensday morning. Sober.
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
I gotta do like a month's worth of catch-up personal hygiene today in prep for Christmas so extended family doesn't ask if I'm depressed.
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