I drank enough to make her look pretty . . It worked and i threw up while going at it
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
naighbors jacking off again. i swear its his friday night ritual, its like he knows the night wont be ending in his favor
My grandma put hard boiled eggs on her lasagna. I'm not high enough for this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the towel caught on fire outside the hottub but we were all too stoned to care
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
If you're wondering about the pepper everywhere its for the ants and it was my doings. They hate pepper. You're welcome.
Omg, looked at my call history, and judging by the times of calls it took me like half hour to walk home frommcds
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm literally in my bed still trying to find the energy to take my corset off so I can binge eat oreos
Oh, don't mind me, that's just my vagina rattling.
We need some Captain and Fanta. That shit will change your life. Sidenote, bring an IV drip to hook me to in the morning
I woke up to an email from expedia confirming my flight to hong kong
Two grav bong hits and a shower later and I'm ready for company
It's like you say things that speak to my soul on a deep personal level
Dude I left his house at 5:30 a.m. after you peed on his front door and then tried to fight me for my blanket. Don't even do that at my house or I will end you.
hahahahaha. Worst. Text. Ever.
Randomize