Well his aunt was in the next room so we had to be quiet. I felt like i was on an episode of silent library.
Dear vodka that I hid in a water bottle in the backseat of Blairs car, I'm sorry that she gave you away to a man on side of the road with an over heated engine. I'm sure the car doesn't appreciate you as much as I would have.
He painted his chest for the game... I just fucked an exclamation point.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
I just got nudes while talking in the third person. Not sure if I Should be proud or ashamed.
A dude was barking out of one of the buildings so I barked back and he goes, "Oh shit! She barked back! Come to room 803 I'll fuck you!"
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Sean just lit a cig with his taser..... I am in awe
Its that time in the evening when I've had a few cocktails and wish you'd make a video about the packers and Jack Daniels.
Randomize
