I did the walk of shame to another booty call
I don't think that should turn me on, but it does
I just woke up in the back of his van. Bring me a sunkist.
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
it's like there's an entire ecosystem in your vagina.
I'm about to take my first shit since thursday. I'm scared. pray for me. If I don't make it, tell my family I love them.
i figure i've seen his cum stains on the floor, i'm allowed to say these things.
I'm considering failing out of my last semester of college just so I can keep fucking him.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
doing a walk of shame covered in blue food coloring is only embarrassing if you make it embarrassing...actually no its embarrassing on all accounts
In the store looking for it now. They put the theatre/script section right next to the gay erotica section. Rude. Practical, but rude.
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
I just want the relationship Bob and Linda Belcher have- is that too much to ask?!
I don't want to go back to the suburbs. Being drunk in public isn't ok and theres too many children. Don't make me.
hey, so i dont know your name. but im guessing we had sex last night. seeing that you're in my phone as "had sex time thursty thursday guy"
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
