I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
i ran around the party telling everyone that my favorite sexual position was also the only position that made me queef...i kept calling it the "double edged sword"
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
Just heard Miley Cyrus' version of "Every Rose Has Its Thorn". Fuck everything. If you don't have an std you have no right to remake this song
I feel the need to point out that one of the items on my to-do list for the day is "don't throw up" I have no concept of normal
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
Every concussion has its silver lining
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
Ok thats great. so just to recap: you fucked a billionare in his penthouse last night, and I had a glass of wine on the toilet.
Well you could have stayed home, played house and got blow jobs all weekend babe, but we all have to live with our decision
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