he texted me at 1 in the morning to ask if i wanted to come over and play in the snow with him
at least he gets points for a creative booty call
He deserves to hear about your Vagina Shrooms
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I remember now some guy came over and hit on me and poured peppermint schnapps and chocolate syrup in my mouth. Pretty sure he was dressed like Santa....
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Is this girl REALLY making a smoothie in the bathroom right now?
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
I complimented him on his choice of carpeting while he was humping me.
Wake up. We're going shopping for booze and samurai swords.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just sent a dick pic to ur girl. It was accident. Plz mail it to Gena.
Was it you I was with where I saw a guy open a beer with his butt?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Woman doing my Brazilian right now says to tell you she says hi...what has our life come to?
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
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