You're the host. Of course you wear the diaper. It's like wearing the pants.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
No. untill you have done a puke that contains nothing but semen and tequila, you do not 'feel my pain'
Totally using formspring as an incognito way of making sure that girl from last night wasn't jailbait.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
if youre pregnant and ruin my spring break i'll never forgive you.
I thought I walked in on an orgy of smurfs. Man I love shrooms
walking back to the dorm.. she is flashing evryone, demanding beads. we tried to stop her and now she just keeps yelling "Bourbon st bitchesss"... you get her tomorrow
he was very distressed by my statements that there could have been balls on shoulders without awareness
My Bio teacher gave me extra marks for putting "deer with AK-47 seeking retribution" at the top of the food chain on my exam. 51% pass here i come!!
Uhh... I think I meant "Be proud, I'm taking shots before my public speaking test." "Coffee and vodka is not good" and "Also, I'm giving blood drunk."
You said you were going to start drinking less. Drinking 25 small airplane bottle shots do not count.
We showed up to the ER to pick him up and I was still wearing face paint from the game. Then I threw up in the sink. Those doctors did not like us at all.
last time we tried to watch a movie together, we ended up having really aggressive sex. during the Lion King. so what Disney classic will we be ruining this time?
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
