My pee smelled like sake this morning it was sooo disgusting.
I don't llike drinking between sober and blackout. Its boring.
i just fell asleep masturbating. I'm no longer surprised i'm single. I can't even pleasure myself.
the red, white, and blue power rangers were all also in the porn buisness, good bye childhood
Well you are. Awfully cute even. Like baby bunnies. And tiny, tiny penises. You know.
Your beautifulness. Funnyness. Sexy hairness. Coolness. Plus you ask google how far wendys is from your house. Will you marry me
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
In a weird way, I don't want to stalk him on Facebook. I want to find out what's wrong with him the old-fashioned way. Is this what it means to be romantic?
I think, at this point, getting pissed and declaring my love via reality TV would be an improvement
i formally give you permission to eat me when i pass out
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I have no idea how but i got a hold of a blue food dye packet. And proceeded to rub it all over my tits. So yeah i'd say its safe to say i'll be known as smurfette for a while
Did I send you a naked snap the other day with a fat blunt in my mouth with the caption "$1200 bitches!" ?
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
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