I just ordered a 3 square foot pizza. This is how to beat an eating disorder.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
Found your dick twin last night
As for the 14 hours of vodka. I am all that is man.
Sorry I invoked the "everyones getting smacked including myself policy last night"
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I should probably drink beer instead of rum today so I don't end up naked in my living room while I still have guest.
Drunk packed a lunch. Made two turkey sandwiches and threw in a bag of raw bacon. Gold star for the day drunk self.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
A guy who takes a plate of chicken tenders away from us is not to be trusted or slept with
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Did you come home, throw out a ton of shoes, then leave again?
That is exactly what I did.
Randomize
