I will make out with the first guy who tries to pick me up with a lyric from a rap song. I won't even reply, just be on him like whoa.
I just saw him at the bookstore and all I could think about was him licking your ass
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
He ran headfirst into the atm. Thenasmed us what our spirit animals were...he said his was either a dolphin or a cabbage
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have an explanation for how we got this drunk this fast... but you wont like it. We are officially in complete liver failure.
I somehow ended up with a bottle of red wine in one hand and white in the other and would drink them at the same time. Ruined
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
My plan to masturbate 34 times on my 34th birthday backfired. Do you still have those crutches?
Strangers are buying me shots and I got hit on by lesbians. How is it only tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just took a shower for the sole purpose of getting off without using my hands... I've reached a new level of summer-lazy.
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Me-World Problems: do I have my boyfriend come to my birthday party in drag, or is that too weird for the first time meeting literally any of my friends
Your bf is wearing nothing but a cape, I mean absolutely NOTHING but a cape. I know you said he looks like Thor but this is getting a bit ridiculous.
I don't blame you. I made YouTube videos of me singing Rent songs then slept with a married couple. Fucking tequila.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
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