She has a t-rex face on a stuart little body.
so Brent and I ordered you a drink then realized you don't live here. I drank it.
this coming from the guy that still thinks "pulling out" is a good form of birth control? just walk away
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
If we have to be apart I understand. Being separated is probably best for our relationship now. I look forward to our booty calls.
Let's face it. We both have sexy parts. Why not have them touch?!
the point i decided it was time to leave was when i was on the floor of the bar, after taking her down with me, and a table.
If we went to a costume party as Batman and Robin I would go as Robin, that's how much you mean to me
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
She must've been waiting down the street cause after I said I specialized in inner-thigh-face-massage it couldn't have been 2 minutes until she was on my couch.
I can not believe he edited a picture of our three way and made it his profile picture
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
I accidentally put Bacardi in my coffee this morning. I ain't even mad.
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
