Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
Can someone please explain to me why I woke up looking like Ziggy Stardust
Somebody started a fire in the kitchen. I puked on it till it went out. The firemen high fived me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She used the word "fragged" in proper context. tell me that's not bust-nut hot.
He came on my chin and called me cumbledore. i give up.
I am 100% positive that I have seen a porno that was shot in this bar.
She just got out of the car and said "hold on purse.. It's going to be a bumpy ride"
This hurricane was the perfect excuse to buy 2 pounds of animal crackers and a case of beer. It's on Sandy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Using mass transit when I'm hungover makes me feel like I missed my calling as a serial killer
Started mixing booze directly into the 2 liters and carrying them around. Mixing less often, and now kind of weightlifting,so double effecient.
This hangover is too legit right now. I just sneezed and almost puked
I got so tired of my roommates fucking in the tub I took a shit in it. Surprise!
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
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