Ok I love you more. To infumty and beyong.
We are so in love
so when's the next time you get to see your balls
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
They are pre-gaming a trip to congress...not sure how politically correct the group is.
I just had a flashback to last nights party, I'm pretty sure I told most of the people there that I post a masturbation schedule for an iCal download.
Just saw the new iPhone. I would totally let Steve Jobs and Jon Ive eiffel tower me right now.
Every single person in dollar tree stares at you if you are buying a pregnancy test and wearing a charlie brown costume. Just FYI.
Remember that time I tried to pierce your nipples while high... it's like that, only with more blood... and less nipples
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You are under a naked attack watch for the whole weekend. Shelter in place.
don't judge my taste in strippers
My ass is underappreciated
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I JUST SENT A TOILET SELFIE TO THE WRONG PERSON.
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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