I have a walk of shame I should be getting to. "Hey, by the way, what is your name?" is not a conversation I want to have today
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
fuck. did you have to draw it on me with a permanent marker
Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I've come to realize time passes slowest when I'm sitting in class, waiting for microwavable foods, working out, & giving head.
is he the 3rd person to bang everyone in our group?
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
Soo I woke up in the storage room at best western....I dont even know what say
Winning pick four numbers were just 6969... if I were 18 I could've won 20,000 dollars.
I've discovered my ability to crush a man's ego is greater than my hate for beer.
and the oscar for 'most creative swearing' goes to you for 'jesus's bloody fucksticks'
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
She told me to take deeps breaths and I said I said YOU FUCKING TAKE A BREATH CAROL IM SURE IF YOU WERE IN MY POSITION YOU WOULD HAVE OFFED YOURSELF ALREADY and she said my name is Becky 😂
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