I just remembered I gave a homeless man a ride to his bridge last night.
She told me to stay away from him cause apparently he fucks anything that walks. clearly i responded with..."i walk"
I'm covered in salsa and facewash. I think I'm doing something wrong over here.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
And he was super vague about his life, it was frustrating. I totally boned a homeless guy, didn't I?
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Idk man, she was drunker than me and i was sitting there talking to a raccoon about it's broken leg.
That was like a fiery explosion of flailing arms and wonderful passion
You've fucked so many I should get a word bank when you make me guess these things.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
you literally stared at me for three minutes and then said "hey this tequila isn't gonna drink itself, boss"
you went to ralph's and bought all of their pears and left them outside my house
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
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